23/07/03

F-up — bad music, return to daydreaming (negative lens), bad social interaction (voice), spiral, “bad feeling” both ends -> discomfort
Honesty to myself needed -> intentions (inner) (extent)
Anti tension - looseness, fun
Smile
People should feel desired, appreciated
Normality (extent)

Plutarch lives
Character lens, small interactions/jests can and should reframe entire global scope of actions (lens under which they are performed)
Brought up under idea of “special supreme destiny” by parents, peers (parent was king)
Avoided flesh pleasures, high temperament
Love of glory, but “noble glory” — ie not cheating, not purely social status (is lying, deluding oneself for convincing oneself and others) — but earned, through true merit (true glory), ie hated under being fathers shadow, wanted to truly amount to something
Passion, good questions, modulated well socially (impressing the respondents)
Hated boxing (distaste for direct dominant competition?)


Pathfinder - worked in end
Mental toughness, push past pain/uncertainty

5 min, 5 min alerts
Leo - gentle to people, animals, endowed with great beauty, grace; good conversationalist
Beware of writer’s arrogance and unheeded biases
Lenses of what matters, what constitutes diversion
Childhood, birth circumstances - illegitimate, both sides inconvenient (have own couple children, legit) — perhaps motivator? Exploration scaffolding?
Sensuality as energy -> “sublimated” into other passionate action (intellectual curiosity and pursuits)
Beware of overanalyzers (Freud) and underanalyzers
Studies movements … interesting(including emotional ones, human faces, etc)
Recordings in notebooks
Political -> social, interests of powerful -> social direction and accepted drives, intellect and creativity more valued by bankers (Medici rise) than land owners (maintain structure)
Cave story — fear of cave vs desire of inside (same thing btw, two views), desire wins for Leo and pays off


Headphones, pressure against sides of brain -> tiredness, daydreaming, negativity — look up brain areas
Tiredness as catalyst
Chain of ancestors to my DNA - huge, unpredictable
Forward motivations from chaos/“fear” as positive (evolutionarily, and in life), sand with meaning from sadness/pain
Pain is good thing, signal, meant to prevent destruction, not to destroy

Argument incite hatred
Social toxin
Ignoring, changing from you - obvious negative impulse, opposite should be sought
Be wary
Give not into impulses


Return to GOD
May I always, jubilantly listen to the Holy Spirit and follow the Lord
Jesus Christ as example to imitate -> remember this
Jesus valiantly accepting immense pain and torture that the Father may be glorified, for the love of GOD — forward motivation
Power over flesh (world, temptation)
Eternal life — (notice ETERNAL; not temporary) - love and belief (obviously constantly reaffirmed in thought and action, deviations = no love, belief) in the Father and the Son (the ONE way)
Those given to Christ
May they feel His JOY (immense)
And be as one (gather, community, social drive — Church? Obviously not Catholic, look into “Lutheran” and other)
Pray for them (chosen ones), not for the world (important implications for goodness)
World hates them, we are not of the world (I feel this way, I shall passionately move with forward motivation, this is the Way)
Take them not out of the world, but freedom from evil (in ourselves, our own spirits)
Know that Jesus (Way in the world) is of God (recursion in Bible, know Bible is Way)
Sanctified Christ — crucifixion, gruelling pain — perhaps shining, striking example of Christian ethos, of bearing and willing physical (brain component too) suffering for the glory of GOD (spiritual component remains strong in this regard, full of always unrenounced love for GOD); world hates the Way and it’s disciples, conflict and suffering inevitable, the ethos is to bear it and glorify the Lord under such pain
Those influenced by original disciples/believers may be as one, meaning same prayers apply? Meaning I will not be lost. Thank GOD. Be with me forever.
All disciples (past, present) unified, that the world may believe (extension of reach, communication of Word across time and space)


Tiredness — pause